Write Words, Carry On

 "Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.  

After enlightenment;  chop wood, carry water."

This Zen koan is what Day 31 is all about. Like most Zen koans, or seemingly illogical questions (What is the sound of one hand clapping?) and answers given to students by Zen masters, this one may require some explaining.   

Or not.  When I was looking for links to explain this concept I came across a production company  called Chop Wood, Carry Water.  "Just do the work, Grasshopper" is how they explained it.

I might have written about that early on, but I didn't fully appreciate it until today. Today, Day 31 of the 500 Words a Day for 31 Days Challenge, I can say that nothing has changed and everything has changed. 

In the spirit of Chop Wood, Carry Water my new mantra shall be,  "Write Words, Carry On."

Who knew doing something I've been doing my whole life would suddenly define the rest of my life?  We all know I wouldn't have done it without you. 

So, before I go any further, let me express my heartfelt gratitude to every single one of you who read even one blog post.  For those of you who read all of them, I give you my first born.  Oh right, I don't have children.  A Himalayan salt lamp would surely be a fitting token of my appreciation.

It's been awhile since I've done something that feels this important or necessary to my introverted self.  My extroverted self is out there every day, advising students and choosing counter tops, introducing Visiting Artists, and alternately dispensing tension tackling tips and inciting minor meltdowns. 

Yesterday I was asked to be on our local radio station to talk about upcoming programs at CCC.  This is fun and good as long as I don't allow myself to go off topic.  While there may be a mute button on the microphone, it doesn't work once you've already said something regrettable. 

After those 15 minutes of fame, or infamy as the case may be, I had to return to the mother ship to attend several meetings.  By the end of the day I wanted nothing more than to shut up.  But to quit talking on Day 30 was inconceivable.  

I sat down at my computer and starting moving my fingers in a familiar pattern.  The clickety-clacketity of the keyboard cajoled me into a conversation about the things I really wanted to say.

Most conversations stick to predictable topics like the weather or would we like fries with that or other harmless repartee.  But every now and then someone will walk into our lives and start talking directly to our souls.  That's scary stuff, if you're not expecting it. 

Personally I am on the lookout for these kinds of conversations whenever and wherever I can find them because that connection with another is what I live for.  If there are really funny stories mixed in, I'm completely beside myself with joy and utterly incapacitated.

Let me know one spectacular thing about you and I promise not to forget and will probably out you as the super star you are in this blog.   Bob already has more followers than I do and he hasn't written a word.  My friend Barbi has yet to be mentioned but because last night she left me leopard tissues and a burlap pouch with a bird in it to hang on my door and remind me of spring, she gets a special shout out.

The plan from here on out is to post two or three times a week.  The exact days are yet to be determined but I'm thinking Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday. The other days I will be writing, just not for an audience.  I'll keep you posted on A Penny for Your Thoughts and give you sneak peeks into other projects. 

The fun has just begun. So Bob and I are off to celebrate.  Unless he and his followers have already got the party started.

I'll leave you with my mantra.... Write Words, Carry On!

Or if you are a runner...

Run on! ... even if it snows.... at the Brrrry Scurrrrry tomorrow at CCC at noon.

 My friend Ann and her crew do a fantastic job!!

Risky Business

There are times when life demands an outstanding performance from you in a leading role.  When you fall in love, go for your degree at midlife, deliver the presentation of your career at an annual meeting, or decide to blog for 31 days, you risk revealing yourself to others in an intimidatingly honest way.

Circumstances may not conspire to catapult you into the lime light every day.  But they may do so often enough to encourage you to consider leaping to the next level of your personal and professional evolution.  

They might also threaten you into playing it safe.  They trick you into believing there is safety in hiding, security in the status quo.  Not being seen, heard, or assumed spectacular in any way may have its appeal.  No expectations. No accountability.  No chance of public humiliation.  

No problem, except that it keeps you small.  And playing small has its price.  Like the price of nice, one day you may no longer be able to pay it.

You know there are seeds of brilliance within you.  You also have an innate understanding of the conditions required to bring them to fruition.  The question is, do you create these conditions in your life on a regular basis? 

One of the benefits of playing a bigger game is acknowledging your larger identity.  Recognizing yourself as a swan instead of a duckling or member of the Duck Dynasty presents you with an entirely different agenda.  

Even if you are an artist working among accountants, you can contribute to that culture in a creative way.  If you dare to bare instead of blend, you might inspire others or, at the very least, become the stuff of urban legends.

The world doesn’t need more carbon copies. The world craves originals.  

For example, students used to come to my exercise studio not because a celebrity or master trainer was leading the class.  They came because I'd entertain them with insights from the edge, ask them if they’d like to wear sequins or fringe in their first exercise video, and inquire about their kids or grandkids, all while politely requesting they remain in the plank position for another thirty seconds. 

They knew they'd have a better chance of being themselves with me than at their jobs or in any number of other situations they might find themselves in during the day.  They understood when they were dressed to sweat the distinctions between doctor and dog walker dissolved.  Everyone was equally impressive.  Especially if they wore sequins and fringe.

It’s a paradox that one of our deepest desires is to be known and yet we go to extreme lengths to keep our true selves hidden not only from each other but ourselves.  

It's risky business, this hiding your light under a bushel, no?  Blogging, tweeting, pinning, or posting updates about every event in your life is not required.  There is such a thing as too much information.

But there's also this great conversation starter that goes like this, "Really?  Tell me more."

For 30 days you've allowed me to tell you more.  Now it's your turn.  I'd be honored if you'd tell me more.  

Share if you dare.

Mission Possible

As we approach the 31 day mark of this blogging blitz, I thought I'd recall another time when I agreed to a mission I thought might be impossible.

 ·       The Time: July and August 2005.  

·         The Place: Dallas, Texas

·         The Mission Should We Choose to Accept It: Deliver 13 workshops in 6 weeks for  Dallas Area Rapid Transit employees who may or may not be receptive to our message

·         Bonus Challenge:  Turn in final manuscript for Body Confidence from the Inside Out during same time period

It was anyone's guess whether the mission would be accomplished or I would self-destruct in 6 weeks.

Fortunately, I had my trusty business partner Tom by my side to drive us to the gigs, schlep our stuff back and forth, keep our wits about us, and remind me of why we would willingly choose a career that involved standing up in front of strangers in an attempt to convince them we knew something they didn't.



As I looked back at some of the things I wrote during that time, I realized these are the war stories, the legends that live on from the Chippewa on down, the true grit, the mythic journey, or the character building moments that make these missions worth risking life and limb.  

I'll share with you something I wrote from that summer that holds true today.

For the second time this summer we've turned the equivalent of the Titanic around in time to prevent the whole ship from sinking. I'm not boasting when I tell you this. I'm thrilled to be conveying this to you as I rearrange the deck chairs instead of bobbing around in the water waiting for a life boat. 

I've spent plenty of time treading water. Whether I've gone overboard, been sentenced to walk the plank, or simply jumped in because I thought the water was fine, I have been "all wet" more than a time or two.  Luckily, I have managed to swim to shore and find a dry towel. 

At last I’m starting to trust the process.  At last I understand I’m making more mistakes because I’m taking more risks.  At last I consider becoming a better swimmer a side benefit of all this splashing about.

Still it surprises me how often I have to take a dive.  That’s why seeing the signs, responding to them, and actually averting a crisis is worth celebrating.

I can hope for miracles.  But the real miracle is that I act on my own behalf and change my attitude, change the conditions of my situation, or renegotiate my agreements.   

Averaging two workshops a week for the past month, I’ve heard myself say certain things enough times now that I finally get them.  We left our workshop on Wednesday elated that we had earned high fives and hugs instead of rotten tomatoes or worse, apathy.  As we were contemplating this reversal of fortune Tom said, “What if they weren’t different?  What if we were different?” 

It was true. This group was especially open to learning and eager to participate.  But we were different too.

Sometime over the weekend I stopped taking it all so personally and stopped pining for my quiet casita in the mountains.  I realized I have no control over whether the people I speak to like me, like the material, like themselves, like their jobs, like their lives, etc.  I have no control over the heat, the traffic, or whether the Rough Riders (the local minor league baseball team) win.

I can only love what I do and love the people in the room.  I can believe in myself and believe in them.  We can all have some fun and extend that energy to others on our path.  That's really the only way we make our mission possible.

Weapons of Mass Distraction

There's no doubt we live in amazing times.  The power we have at our fingertips, literally through cell phones, computers, and any number of electronic devices is mind blowing.

We also live in incredibly noisy, busy, speedy, confusing, and above all, distracting times.  I could blame my lack of ability to walk into another room without any recollection of why I did so on any number of midlife maladies. But it could also have something to do with the number of  things that beep, vibrate, whistle, or flash at me before I get  where I'm going  that cause me to I lose my way.

Admittedly,  I may have a short little span of attention. But it does seem as if these weapons of mass distraction that were conceived to bring about law and order in our lives, create chaos in mine.

Finding them is the first challenge.  Discovering they are out juice when I need them is another. And dealing with the outrage I incur when I fail to respond immediately to others provides even more grounds for disgruntlement.

I'm not knocking technology.  I'm just as excited as the next person to learn about the latest and greatest gadgets and get my hands on them if it doesn't cost me an arm and a leg or take more time to master than I may have left to live.

My issue is when all this technology competes for my attention to the point where I'm unable to focus on anything for more than a minute before being interrupted.   I suspect it was the makers of ADD meds that came up with the idea to run messages and pop up characters along the bottom of the tv screen alerting viewers to what's coming up in two minutes. Like the suspense is going to kill us?

What happened to being here now and fully enjoying the moment?  Just because I can multitask does not mean I want to do so when I'm watching tv, or reading a blog (so I'm not going to link to anything in this particular piece that might tempt you to leave), or eating a thoughtfully prepared meal.

One of the best presents we can give another person is our presence.  I understand it's hard to sit quietly or wait patiently when our phone is within reach and ready to entertain.  But ideas need breathing space.  Innovation requires incubation.  If I can't have a time out during some part of my day to think about my behavior, I go a bit batty. 

My goal is not to stop using the incredible tools at my fingertips but to create more than I consume.  In the past 28 days I've learned just how challenging that is.  I've also learned how rewarding it can be to contribute almost as much as I consume.

It turns out the answer to many of my problems has literally been at my fingertips.   By combining the technology on the one hand with writing and creating on the other, I might be able to convert my weapons of mass distraction to weapons of mass creation.

What about you? What answers do you hold in your hands?

Decisions, Decisions

Since it was way too cold for any of us to go to school today, I used the morning to do some journal writing.  In theory my 500 words were done by 9am, but those words to lead me to these that I can actually publish. 

In the TED talk with the Susan Cain, the author of Quiet, she described her experience of being on the speaking circuit to promote her book as the Year of Speaking Dangerously.  This morning I was thinking this is the Year of Writing Dangerously & Prolifically for me. 

Writing a lot is dangerous because sooner or later I'm going to write something that will rock my world or yours, and then we might just have to act on it.  Writing both prolifically and dangerously means I feel the fear and write it anyway.

When I used to teach journal writing classes I'd always tell students who were afraid to write too much or go too deeply to trust themselves.  We all have a built in protection mechanism or what I call the denial defense. We just won't go there if we're not ready.  As it turns out, we're usually more ready than we're willing to admit.

Take this morning, for instance.  I was all ready to rant about hurt feelings and suddenly I realized how I was (and usually am) as much to blame as anyone else.  As you know, I have a very vivid imagination and although this usually works in my favor, it can also lead to my undoing.  I started to think about how lucky I was to even be in the situation to begin with, let alone expect things to unfold exactly as I planned.

I used to have a friend who, whenever I tended to be perplexed, would say, "It's a good problem to have."  I can't say this reminder really helped at the time because even though it might have been a good problem to have or a decision between two equally good choices as opposed to a very difficult one between lesser evils, quick and decisive choices are not my strong suit.  I tend to think there is a right choice.  I'm convinced it is the opposite of whichever one I eventually make.

But lately I've decided there is just too much beyond my control to constantly judge the rightness of any given decision.  The best decision I can make is the one I can most easily execute in good faith given the available information without waffling or creating a lot of drama.  I made at least three not so great decisions last week and got to apologize for or deal with the consequences of them.  I made a few outstanding ones as well.

The best one I've made so far this year is to write 500 words a day for 31 days.  I had no idea how many other daily decisions that one decision would impact but it's set the standard for the rest of the year.  I've yet to decide how I'll proceed after Friday - Day 31! - because there many things I need to learn about blogging that I don't have a lot of time to learn while creating content every spare moment.  I thought I'd ask you since some decisions are best left to the tribe.

How often would you like to read this blog?  Daily is doable if the content is more like 100 words or less.  Three times a week is an option as well as just weekdays or weekends or any combination thereof.  Decisions, decisions.

In this case, my friend was right.  It's a good decision to get to make.  Weigh in with your thoughts below.