Good Dog, Stay

There is nothing quite like the excruciating pain of losing an animal companion.  Whether that be canine, feline, equine, or bovine, when we have to say goodbye to a being that loves us like no other, the grief seems unbearable.

When a person dies, people understand that it will take a considerable amount of time to process the loss.  Yet when a pet dies, the expectation is not so magnanimous.  Some suggest "replacing" the pet as soon as possible.

But as anyone who has ever been loved by an animal will tell you, these creatures leave paw prints on our hearts that refuse to be replaced.  Their mischievous shenanigans, annoyingly cute little tricks, and insistence on undivided attention will be the things we miss the most.

A year ago I had to put my dog Malcolm down after 17 years.  Ours was a very intricately woven bond.  His loyalty was so fierce, I knew he would not leave me even though he was in intense pain.  He not only changed my life the day I walked into Operation Kindness, he saved it.  He more than lived up to his side of the deal and stuck with me through thick and thin.  I needed to live up to mine and be brave enough to let him go.

We had traveled the country together and met more dogs in more places than most people and dogs do.  We'd regularly go out for a walk and return with 3-6 neighbor dogs in tow, making me Penny the Pied Piper of Puppies.

There is something so comforting to me about the company of dogs.  Maybe it's that my dogs and I can communicate without speaking.  Or it could be that they think I'm a good cook, hilarious, beautiful, brilliant, generous, and have great taste in leashes.  They know when I need to exercise, eat, sleep, or shower.  They know when someone or something is threatening me.  And vice versa.

They allow me to pretend I'm the boss of them, but we all know the truth.  And even though I scold them for dropping the best, most durable balls in the Maquoketa River within 10 minutes of taking them out of the package and other bad behavior, they refuse to point out my mistakes or bad behavior.

My friend Susan and her dog Sophie gave me a pillow that says, "To error is human, to forgive canine."  That pretty much sums up it up.

For these and a hundred other reasons, I offer the most heartfelt condolences to those who lose their animals companions.  Animals complete us.  They make our families fuller.  They make our lives richer.  They provide unconditional love and acceptance.  Not to mention unlimited writing material and photo opportunities.

My good friend Karen lost her sweet Callie last weekend.  There are no words to ease her pain and talking of Callie will continue to bring tears to both of our eyes for quite some time.

So in honor of our four-legged furry friends everywhere, let's offer up a prayer or two of gratitude that these amazing creatures choose to spend their limited time among us and teach us how to sit, roll over, and fetch our farthest reaching dreams.

If only they could stay longer.  

Share your favorite pet story, trick, photo, memory, etc. below.  Or hop over to www.pennyplautz.com and follow me there.

This is a picture of me and Abbey, the beautiful, gentle yellow lab who joined Malcolm and me and made the last two years of his life so much spunkier. 

Photo by Lucas Mitchell.

It's Gonna Cost You

Although I do not consider myself an expert on microeconomics, lately I've been thinking a lot about opportunity costs.

The New Oxford American Dictionary defines opportunity costs as "the loss of potential gain from other alternatives when one alternative is chosen."  For example, you might decide to go to school before pursuing a career, believing the potential income earned after obtaining your degree will make up for the income lost while attaining it.

Theoretically the concept is most useful when applied to making everyday decisions about how best to spend limited time or money or even calories.  Six raspberries or one M & M?  Go to a concert or buy a Bose? 

Since I've been making many life changing decisions this year I have had to consider not just the cost of doing something, but the cost of not doing something.

With this in mind, I decided it would cost me more not to attend the Blogher Conference in San Jose next week and find my midlife blogger tribe than to attend. 

Lo and behold, the planets aligned, the frequent flyer miles added up, and I did enough blogging to throughout the year to take myself seriously enough to run with the big dogs, or big blogs, as the case may be.  Not one single thing about the trip is guaranteed, except the room, of course.

I learned early on that leaps of faith are not for the faint of heart.  No, no, no. Payment is required in full and up front regardless of the outcome.

So yes, my big adventure is going to cost me.  Just like giving up sugar and flour and pasta has cost me.  Like getting braces will cost me.  Like revamping my website will cost me.

But lessons that come with a cost are not easily forgotten.  Perhaps that's why we gladly pay in terms of time, money, discipline, dedication, and occasionally, disgust.  We are hard wired to work for our rewards.  If they come too easily, we feel unworthy of them.

So next week when I am sufficiently humbled by bloggers half my age doing outrageously bold and brilliant things without once doubting that they can, please remind me I am capable of the same things.  And I will gently remind you with every subsequent post that the cost of your dreams is worth every penny.

Share your dream if you dare below.  And please make the move over to www.pennyplautz.com and sign  up to follow me there.  Your emails will arrive beautifully formatted in your Inbox as soon as they are published.

Whole Lotta Shakin' Going On

It's been one of those ready-fire-aim years where I've started before I'm ready, leaped before I've looked, and flown entirely by the seat of my pants.  But for all intents and purposes, that was what was required.

I've learned that nothing really goes the way I think it's going to go. The best I can do is prepare as much as possible and then take action.

Some things can only be learned along the way.  I can study those who have attempted similar stretches of the imagination.  But there's nothing quite like first hand experience to give me the confidence or humiliation necessary for me to be able to master whatever the next step may be.

The good news is big, bold steps are not required in the course corrections I am charting these days.  Baby steps are really the only way I can navigate the tsunami of change that each new step ushers in.

I have held some BHAGs (Big Harry Audacious Goals) closely for many years without making any real progress.  Part of the reason is I had no system of accountability.  The other part is I told myself I'd have more time later.

Then it occurred to me that I might never have any more time in the future than I have right now to write another book, launch a couple of different websites, learn how to prepare healthy meals, straighten my teeth, or connect with those who matter to me.

If I can't manage the time I have right now, how will I manage more later?  I think the universe in its infinite wisdom is always giving us opportunities cleverly disguised as challenges.

My challenge at the beginning of the year was to write 500 words a day for 30 days.  If I couldn't write 500 words a day, how did I expect to write another book?

Next came B-school.  I knew if I wanted to have a successful online presence, I needed to learn from someone who already does.  Throughout my life, I have learned to go to the source.  I've never regretted a single dollar I've spent on my education.  This was no exception.

Because of B-school I realized I needed to change my website, my blogs, just about everything pertaining to my business plan.  This prompted the move to Wordpress and the general reconfiguring of my blogs.

I decided posts like this one are best suited for my blog at www.pennyplautz.com.   I'm calling these my Stories of a Lifetime. One blog post at a time. If you would be so kind as to click here and follow me by adding your email to the bottom right hand of the page, you will continue to get these posts emailed to you hot off the press.  Not to mention a few extra goodies.

To recap, here are the steps.

• #1 - Click here.  This will take you to www.pennyplautz.com.  This will have the same content as you get here but with pictures and audio and video to come soon.
• #2 - Click Follow at the bottom right hand of the page and add your email address.
•  #3 - Each time I publish a new post, you'll get it in your Inbox.
• #4 - That's it!

As for Midlife MacGyver, I've got some brand new material that I'm planning to roll out, one baby step at a time.  I hope that you will stay with me during this adventure as well.  The steps to signing up for this are the same as above except you'll click here and click the follow bottom on that page.

Right now the two pages look alike, so don't worry that you have signed up twice. They will eventually be two very different sites, but for now, I wanted to make sure I didn't lose any information or followers in the transition.  You can always opt out at any time.

I want to shift the focus more to the issues that specifically arise at midlife and make it a little more informative and provide you with questions, answers, options, but mainly inspiration so that you can truly make the most of midlife.

Which leads me to the third big shake up of 2014.  This is probably the most challenging of all because it requires an enormous amount of planning, resolve, and delayed gratification on my part.  I'm changing the way I eat and cutting out most of the foods I hold most dear... namely pasta, sugar, flour, and wheat.

After a visit to a functional medicine doctor and about 20 different blood tests, I'm now taking more supplements than most body builders.  I've sworn off the stuff that makes me feel fat and fuzzy for the most part.

As a former fitness professional and wellness consultant, I simply couldn't accept what was happening with my body as inevitable once I reached a certain age.  So, the first part of the Midlife MacGyver blog I'm going to address is Body Confidence at Midlife.  I wrote a book called Body Confidence in 2007.  Now I want to take that a step further.

Some other areas I'll include are Mating and Dating at Midlife, What (Not) To Wear at Midlife, Making Meaning at Midlife, RelationShifts, Money Matters, and Downloads From the Divine just to name a few.  Most of these areas will not be ready right away.  Patience, grasshopper.

I'm inviting guest bloggers to join me.  If this is your area of expertise, please let me know.

I want Midlife MacGyver to be a community where we all have something to contribute and learn.  I hope to bring back many new ideas and resources from the Blogher conference I'll be attending in two weeks.

But for now, I simply wanted to let you in on the big plans so you know what all the moving and shaking is about.  I hope you'll continue to read and be an essential part of the Midlife MacGyver tribe.

What about you?  What are your BHAGs?  Share if you dare below.

Live Free or Die

Possibly the best-known state motto of all, the New Hampshire motto, "Live Free or Die," is the exact sentiment required for a group of visionaries to cut the ties to the motherland.

A few weeks ago we were changing our wall of fame (aka bulletin board) at work from our recent graduates to something a little patriotic.  We had the background figured out and were looking for something sensational to put in the middle.

We decided the Declaration of Independence or the Bill of Rights and possibly the Constitution would be fantastic.  Much to my delight, I was able to find a copy of all three of these documents on some poster size parchment paper.  Using my Amazon prime, these documents arrived on my doorstop in two days and cost me less than $20.

I so love getting packages and was super excited to get these documents.  It was thrilling to read the words and touch the names and think about the tremendous courage, vision, and outrage these people must have felt to declare their independence in such a bold and committed way that would surely take its toll.

When I first started looking for the documents I came across this reading of the Declaration of Independence by Hollywood's finest.  Apparently it was intended to be read aloud to have the most impact.  I must say, hearing it made me appreciate it our forefathers and mothers even more.

It could be that I never actually read the entire Declaration of Independence.  Thanks to School House Rock, I knew a fairly impressive amount of The Preamble to the Constitution, but the only thing I really remember about the Declaration of Independence was the story about John Hancock's signature. 

Our ancestors had to be huge risk takers to even get on the boat, cross the ocean, and arrive in a place where they'd have to start from the ground up.  None of my adventures can compare to that.  Someone always has left the light on for me.  Even if it's Motel 6.

It's only fitting that we take a day to commemorate all that has been done, sacrificed, and paid to insure we are a country of people who are free to do, be, and have all that we are willing to fight for or make peace with.

However you celebrate the holiday, you might take a moment to recall the things, ideas, and people you value most.  What would you be willing to declare, knowing it could cost you everything?  What would be willing to sign so that the whole world knew you where you stood?

As you know from a previous post, my dad will tell you I came out of the womb with my declaration of independence branded on my being.   Consequently, freedom is a pretty big deal to me.  Fireworks are definitely required.

How about you?  What would you declare?  What would you include in your personal Bill of Rights?

Share if you dare below.

I am now hosting this on www.midlifemacgyver.com on Wordpress.  If you are following me here and could take a moment to hop over there and click the "following" button in the upper left hand corner, I would really appreciate it.  I've updated the site in an effort to make some sweeping changes later this summer.

I'll continue to post here as well, but the new site will have a lot more features in the coming months. 

Thanks for following!

Sonic Sanctuary

We live in amazing times.  Just when I thought Amazon Prime couldn't get any better, bring on the free music.

It seems like just yesterday I was buying albums so I could carefully blend the most magical tunes together in order to have a mixed tape for every mood.  I'd spend hours as PJ the DJ carefully curating the most energizing tunes for my aerobics classes, the subtlest of sexy songs for the dating ritual, the rowdiest road songs for adventurous outings, along with the occasional classical cut to cultivate my creativity or monastic chant to elevate my spirit.

These days all I have to do is search the playlists that are already assembled by other music lovers, hit the download button, and in the same time it took me to make one side of a mixed tape, I've downloaded twenty playlists.

I once listened to an audio program called This IsYour Brain On Music by Daniel Levitin.  I remember the author stating that we vividly remember the music of our younger days because of all the emotions associated with our developing brain and bodies.

Although that may be true, I'm finding it works miracles at midlife as well since this seems to be the second coming of hormone-induced hysteria.

Music is a universal language and when words fail us, we can fall back on our favorite playlist to do the talking for us.  There is something supremely satisfying to me to know I can search and rescue my favorite song from oblivion at a moment's notice and share it with an unsuspecting niece, nephew, sibling, parent, partner, or passerby.

Before Sirius XM, I had been stuck musically somewhere in the last century.  Now I am  thrilled to discover new music every time I step foot inside the virtual Coffee House in my car.  When I'm not in my car, websites like Amazon Prime, Spotifiy, and Songza catapult me right out of the past and directly into the present where I can surround myself with all kinds of music from an incredible array of genres.

Who knew I'd once again be spending oodles of hours listening to music from the past and present like a lovestruck teenager?

As soon as I figure out how to add playlists to my posts I'll add them to this blog.  (Feel free to fill me in if you already know how.)  That way if you don't have time to read the post, you can just listen to the playlist.  I'll think you'll be able to adequately determine how things are going in my world just by listening. 

Plus, you can send me yours and it we'll create a virtual record store... or better yet, a sonic sanctuary.  Oh yes, that sounds so soothing.  A Zen and Pen moment if ever there was one.

Give me a few days to figure it out and I'll be back to rock your world!

Who's Your Daddy?

Yes, I realize Father's Day was last Sunday, but my dad's birthday was yesterday and I figured after all he's done for me, he deserved a day and a blog post all to himself.

Having a birthday on the summer solstice is quite convenient for a couple of reasons.  First, it's easy to remember because the beginning of summer is usually something people celebrate more than the beginning of winter, at least in Iowa. 

Second, it's more likely Dad will be able to spend the day doing the kind of things he enjoys doing, like fishing, watching the Cubs play baseball, or having a patio party with friends and family.

And third, it's the driving force coercing me out of the comfort of my bed and into my writing room to post this while the day and my dad are fresh in my mind.  I swear I'm channeling the collective energy of all the midnight revelers dancing in the moonlight as they usher in the summer.

Whatever the case, it's well past my bedtime.  However, the words will not wait so I will release them and maybe we'll all sleep better for it.

I would like to get something clear from the get-go.  I've never been Daddy's Girl,  Daddy's Little Princess, or even the first name that came to mind when he addressed me.  Being the youngest, he often remembered my name only after reciting my sister and brother's names first. 

Granted, I often got him so flustered or irritated that addressing me in an ever increasing crescendo of Kellie-Kendall- PENNY was the most effective way to let us all know I was in trouble. 

While we each had our ways of  sending this gentle giant over the edge, I was particularly good at it.  Especially during church, I am told.

As anyone with siblings can attest, it's not necessarily the one who started it who suffers the consequences.  It's the one who gets caught.  Since there were three of us, it was usually two against one, and I was often the sacrificial lamb or black sheep.

I'm not saying my dad didn't have reason to suspect me.  I did my very best to challenge him throughout my childhood.  Not intentionally, mind you.  I was just incredibly independent.  "Because I'm your dad and I said so," might have worked on the other two, but it seldom worked on me. 

Even though I was the last on the family food chain, I was the first to try things that I considered to be brilliant, bold, and daring.  My dad didn't see it that way .

Once in a fit of frustration he said in a loud voice, "You are the most independent woman I've ever met!"  To this day I consider it a compliment, although when I'm walking three dogs and Scooter exhibits his independent nature and leaves the pack to discover disgusting things to proudly bring back to us, I begin to see my dad's point.

This is the thing with dads and parents in general.  They are wiser than we ever give them credit for and right more often than we care to admit.

Even though we live our whole lives in anticipation of their approval or in reaction to their rules, there is no denying the indelible influence they have on who we become, how we behave, even how we look.

I'll never forget one particularly bad blind date that ended in a drive by drop-off .  The guy had never met me but had met my dad.  The first words out of his mouth were, "You look just like your dad."

My dad is approximately  6'3", 280 lbs, and balding.  Although my dad is handsome to me, no woman with any sense of sexiness left after succumbing to the humiliation of a blind date is going to want to be compared to those height, weight, and hair restrictions.

I knew at that point, the rest of the night was pointless.  Seriously, men who might be reading this:  Unless your date's dad has just been named Sexiest Man Alive, avoid that line.  And the drive by drop off.  Walk your date to the door at least.

Okay, so before you begin to think daddy issues are responsible for me not getting engaged until now, let me reassure you it's more the independence thing. When the independence thing had run its course and I moved back to the Midwest, I became fiercely protective of my parents.   

Midlife has a way of softening judgments and expectations not only of ourselves but especially our elders.  When options begin to contract instead of expand, and there are more exits than entrances, there is a certain amount of grace we learn to extend to others.  For me, this began at home.

After years of being the yin to my dad's yang, the "heck, yes!" to his "heavens, no!", the left to his right, the open to his closed, I find myself appreciating the middle space we can meet in now.

I used to believe my dad would never understand me, let alone admit he had something to do with creating me.  But my mom told me how once he was busily bragging me up to strangers, telling them his daughter had written a book.  Up to that point, I wasn't sure he knew what a big deal getting a book published was to me.

Then there was the day I decided to temporarily set my writing dream aside to take the respectable job I have now.  On our way to Maquoketa to look for a house my dad said, "This is going to be really hard for you, isn't it?"

My free spirit heart melted as I realized I had been living the dream for all of us.  My dad had his share of dreams he had to give up in order to be responsible, respectable, and do the right thing for his family.  Now he was witnessing me make the same choice.

The happy ending to this story is I'm now writing again while holding down a job and enjoying a family of my own with friends and animals that supply me with blogging material on a regular basis. 

I suppose if Bob would suggest I remind him of my dad, I'd take no offense to that.  After all, my dad is kind, intelligent, generous, and lovable.  And he can say his daughter dedicated this blog post to him, even though I suspect he may not know what a blog is.

What about you?  Who's your daddy?  Share if you dare in the comments below.  Or hop on over to my new work-in-progress blogsite at www.pennyplautz.com.

Teach An Old Dog A New Trick

As an educator, one of the ideas I embrace with gusto is lifelong learning.

From my childhood days of playing school to my attendance at a college known for cranking out teachers , I've picked up on the clues that learning lights my fire.

Granted, most learning takes place outside of the classroom where ideas get translated into action.  Sometimes it takes years before you benefit from your extensive training in algebra, Latin, or history.  But one glorious day, the fruits of your labor will be revealed.  Carpe diem!

The best kind of learning for me is a mixed bag of challenges and instant gratification.  While I believe the view from the top is spectacular in part because of the climb, I'm equally sure I'm going to need a few glimpses of that view along the way to convince me I'm not barking up the wrong tree.

"If it were easy," the saying goes, "we'd all be doing it."  But "easy" is a relative term.  For example, my challenge this week is to become proficient at using Twitter.  While this may be "easy" to those raised with a smart phone, it tends to leave me feeling a bit slow on the uptake.  But like the little engine that could, I think I can, I think I can.

The amazing thing is so far I have as many followers on Twitter as I do my blog and I have yet to tweet anything.  By following others in return, I have found some very useful, albeit overwhelming, information. 

I'm in the process of revamping my website and this blog so when I get to the Blogher Conference in San Jose next month, I will at least not appear to be the dinosaur boomer bloggers are assumed to be. 

After reading Career Comeback by Lisa Johnson Mandell, I'm on a mission to expose midlife as the mecca of miracles it can be rather than the slow decline into oblivion we've been taught avoid like the plague.

There are opportunities at midlife that may not have been viable options before.  For me these include home ownership, getting engaged, and considering braces.  Again, I might be slow on the uptake but it does give me faith that you can teach an old dog a new trick or two. 

For you it could be financial freedom, retirement or changing careers to something you've always wanted to do, moving to the country or the city, or creating your own internet tv channel or weekly podcast.

It matters not what you want to learn.  It matters deeply that you learn.  (And you can tweet that!)

I've always loved this quote that apparently is a combination of thoughts by German poet Goethe and W.H. Murray.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

With that in mind, today's tasks include Tweeting and putting together a new website on Wordpress.  I'll keep you posted on my progress.

What about you?  What kind of summer school have you signed up for?

Share if you dare in the comments below, on Facebook, or @midlifemacgyver on Twitter.